Vlad’s Kebabs

Dearest readers, how have I missed thee.

Apologies for the hiatus. I was too busy to cook the last few weeks, which meant I couldn’t write about cooking.

Our time apart has been well spent, though I did miss all of you. In case you’re curious what kept me, well I was performing in a little play called Othello and I’ve been taking a stand-up comedy class so expect classier jokes in the near future.

My pesky day job is also a thing that keeps me away, but that’s not fun to talk about so I’d rather move on to my next recipe which is chorizo and mushroom kebabs from I Love Spice.

What you’ll need

  • 2 tablespoons of olive oil
  • 24 slices of chorizo, each about a half inch thick
  • 24 button mushrooms
  • 1 green bell pepper, roasted, peeled, and cut into 24 squares

Kebabs are the best aren’t they? They don’t require a lot of skill. You just grill some stuff and then stab it with a stake.

I dare say this had to be Vlad the Impaler’s favorite meal to cook.

I must caution you readers, however, that when it comes to chorizo we can’t be all Vlad the Impaler about it. We have to choose wisely and pick the right chorizo. Not every chorizo can be impaled. Mexican chorizo, for example is usually grounded and crumbly which means it is unable to be staked.

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Sorry Vlad, you just can’t impale Mexican chorizo

What we want to buy is Spanish chorizo which usually comes cured and dried aka a solid form of sausage.

My neighborhood Vons did not have Spanish chorizo, but they did have longaniza which google has told me is similar to chorizo and even better is in a solid shape that one can hopefully impale.

Now that we got that important info out of the way, the only step that I need to advise you on is roasting your pepper.

I recommend roasting it in an oven with a pan coated in olive oil under 400 for 20 minutes. When the 20 minutes are up, turn the pepper so it can have an even tan and roast for another 20 minutes.

Once this step is over, remove the pepper from the oven and allow it to cool so you can remove the skin and cut it into 24 squares.

While the peppers are cooling you might as well get started on cooking your chorizo. To do so, get a skillet and coat that in olive oil. Heat the skillet under medium heat and then add the chorizo.

Now if you got dried and cured chorizo, you should only need to cook this for 20 seconds, but if you had to substitute like me, you’ll need to cook for a longer amount of time, because 20 seconds is going to give you a health code violation for sure.

Once your meat is cooked throughly, we can add the mushrooms into the skillet. Cook this for 1-2 minutes. You’ll know the mushrooms are ready when they look slightly brown and are glossy just like Vlad after a hard day of impaling people.

Speaking of Vlad, we are now ready for his favorite part! Making the actual kebab!

All you have to do is impale a bell pepper, followed by a mushroom, and then a kebab.

You can use a toothpick to make this more of an appetizer or get your large stake and make it a meal.

The choice is up to you for your enjoyment.

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So as you may have guessed from the professional photo above, I failed. Turns out that longaniza is not easily impaled. It is more solid than Mexican chorizo, but it fell apart when I tried to stab it.

I will say that this combo is tasty one, so if you find the right chorizo do give it a try. Otherwise I recommend making yourself some chorizo and eggs instead of a kebab.

 

Magical Mystery Mushroom Tour

I don’t know if there is any point in mentioning this. I’m sure someone out there, a hater so to speak, will roll their eyes. I know this, because I can be a hater myself. Roll away hater, because I invoke thee honey badger and I don’t care.

How I feel about haters hating.

I love mushrooms guys. I love food. I have so much love for all kinds of food. Mushrooms, jalapeños, prosciutto, goat cheese, gouda, pepperjack, cheese in general, arugula, salami, ham, eggs, chorizo, sausage, garlic, onions, scallions, and much, much more.

I dated a guy who hated mushrooms and when I told him how much I loved them, he said shrooms are only good for tripping.

My response was, “Imagine how much better your trip would be if you actually liked them!”

He didn’t get it, I should have known then it wouldn’t have lasted.

That being said, my next recipe is Pan-Fried Porcini Mushrooms aka Funghi Porcini allo Spiedo o in Padella from The Italian Mama’s Kitchen.

It’s another simple recipe and I can attest that my half Italian mother sautés mushrooms in a similar way. Not that there’s a whole lot to it. Most people sauté mushrooms with oil and garlic. It’s the same with Italians, we just also throw in some parsley. Maybe I’m making myself look like a dumb dumb and everyone does that. All I can say is that I grew up learning a lot about Italian spices, so make fun of me all you want. Only if that’s your true desire though. The key words are true desire, be clear on your manifestations of hate.

The only thing I have to add before we go down our cooking trip, however, is that I was unable to find porcini mushrooms so I substituted with Portobello. Portobello and shiitake mushrooms are my favorite shrooms by the way.

So, what you’ll need are, 4 tablespoons of olive oil, a small handful of Italian parsley, salt, 1 finely chopped medium garlic clove, pepper, and 2 fresh medium-sized porcini mushrooms. If you use Portobello, you might have to double the ingredients. Use your common sense to determine, of course.

The first step is to whisk, in a bowl, 2 tablespoons of oil, the parsley, salt, garlic, and pepper. I recommend using a wide shallow bowl because you will be soaking the mushrooms in this mix.

Once that’s done, remove the stems from your mushrooms and spread your oil mixture on them. The cookbook also mentions that you can reserve the stalks for sauce if you desire.

After that, you are ready to cook your mushrooms in a pan. To do so, place the remaining two tablespoons of oil in your pan, as well as the oil mixture, and sauté under medium heat for about two minutes.

When all is said and done, you will have a delicious side dish of mushrooms that is juicy and flavorful. I recommend pairing it with steak. My mother used to sauté mushrooms whenever my father would grill steaks for the family. It was always my favorite way to eat a steak.

I was unable to do that when I made this, though, and ended up making chicken instead. It was still good, but steak and mushrooms is my first choice.

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Don’t trip or do, but here’s the shrooms

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I know it looks like slices of egg chunk, but that is chicken.

Isa Hot and Sour Soup with Shrooms!

I can’t recall where I saw this video, but I saw this video that was studying whether women or men are smarter. My initial reaction to this was, “Well this seems like trouble. I don’t know how I feel about this.”

Thankfully, it ended up being an entertaining, light-hearted show.The final analysis was that women and men are equally intelligent, but they excel in certain areas and struggle in the opposite areas, thus resulting into an evening out.

Fair and balanced, I say, and it does seem to make sense.

Anyway, the experiment that resonated with me the most was one where a couple had to race each other doing certain tasks. So, they gave them both a list of activities. The men quickly rushed into doing the tasks on the list, while the women quietly read the list to theirself first. Turns out the very last ‘task’ on the list was to sign the list noting that you had read all the activities and to not do any of the other tasks.

My point in mentioning this, is that I make this same mistake with my cookbooks. I forget to read the details and just go straight to the cooking. I feel like I have the worst qualities of each sex. Emotional and sensitive, as well as not looking at details. The study caused me to feel insecure about my level of intelligence. I guess I’m just an idiot then.

That’s the beauty about life though. Intelligent people know they can learn to change their habits and by doing so, not only improve their well-being, but their level of intelligence as well. At least that’s what I’m telling myself and I’m hoping is true, because otherwise I’ll become depressed. Please let me live in ignorant bliss if you find this to be false.

What did I do with this recipe? I’m sure you’re wondering. Well, the author of the cookbook, which is Isa from Isa Does It!, had this whole little blurb about where I could possibly find the mushrooms that I couldn’t find and provided the best substitute if they weren’t found. Since I didn’t read this blurb, I ended up buying a bunch of regular brown button mushrooms. This wasn’t the end of the world, but it does change the whole dynamic of the soup.

Hopefully, if you make this soup, you will be a typical woman and read all the details.

What you’ll need for this soup is 1 ounce of dried wood ear mushrooms (shiitake is the substitute if you have the same trouble I did), 2 cups of boiling water, 2 teaspoons of sesame oil, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 tablespoon of minced fresh ginger, 4 cups of vegetable broth, 1/4 cup of rice vinegar, 3 tablespoons of soy sauce, 2 teaspoons of sriracha, 2 teaspoons of granulated sugar, 1 8 oz can of bamboo shoots, 5 ounces of thinly sliced cabbage, 14 ounces of 1/4 diced tofu, 1/2 cup of water, 1 tablespoon of cornstarch, 4 ounces of small button mushrooms, 1 cup of chopped scallions, and optional chow mein noodles.

The first step is to boil the wood ear mushrooms, provided that you were able to find them. The author says you can find them in the international section of grocery stores, but I did not. I’m assuming if you get shiitake mushrooms, you don’t need to boil them, as they are not dry and hard like wood.

Anyway if you are eating wood, boil that for 30 minutes. Then drain and chop into small pieces.

The next step is to pre-heat your pot over low heat with the oil and then saute the garlic and ginger until lightly brown. Next, add the broth, wood ears, vinegar, soy sauce, sriracha, sugar, bamboo shoots, and cabbage. Bring all of this to a boil, add the tofu, and then simmer for 5 minutes.

While this is happening, mix the cornstarch with some water until it has dissolved. Add that to the soup, along with the regular mushrooms and cook for an additional 5 minutes.

After that, you just want to make sure the soup has thickened  a bit. Once it seems appropriately thickened you can then serve and garnish with scallions, sriracha, and chow mein.

I was disappointed with this soup admittedly. I think it would have been better with the right mushrooms though. My friend Megumi was over when I made this, so I gave her a bowl. She seemed to like it, but we both agreed it wasn’t as good as the soup I made for her last. That soup was a Tangier bean soup from my Moroccan cook book. It was delicious stuff and I do highly recommend that one!

This one, I’d like to make again someday with the proper ingredients.

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The soup of hot and sour

Sausage and Mushroom Pasta

This recipe is from Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade Meals. I used to make this pasta back in college all the time. It was one of my favorites. As far as my tastes go, I can’t go wrong with linguine, sausage, and mushrooms.

This cookbook is perfect for beginner cooks too. They should re-name it, Cooking for Dummies. I’ve managed to not screw up any recipe from here yet. We all know I’m a bit of a cooking dummy, so that’s saying something.

What you’ll need to make this, is one box of linguine, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, 3 links of spicy Italian sausage, 2 garlic cloves, 2 sliced portobello mushrooms, 1 10 ounce can of diced Italian tomatoes,  and one 7 ounce container of pesto with basil.

The first step, as with most pasta dishes, is to boil a large pot of water to cook your pasta with.

This is an easy step and admittedly my pasta has been sticking to my pot lately. This wasn’t a problem for me in the past, so I was irritated by this new problem of mine. I mentioned this to my mother and asked if I should put oil or butter next time, but she said that wasn’t necessary. She thinks I’m not putting enough water in my pot. That is a possibility I’m wanting to test out for next time.

Anyway, while your pasta is cooking, heat a large skillet with olive oil over medium heat. Once heated, add the sausage and garlic. Cook this and stir for 5 minutes, eventually breaking up the sausage as it cooks along. I was having a hard time breaking up my sausage and I recommend purchasing and using cooking scissors to make this step easier.

After the sausage is cooked, add the mushrooms for another 5 minutes of cooking. Then add your drained tomatoes and the pesto. Bring that to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes.

That’s all there is to it! You don’t even have to add any additional spices. It’s so easy and not too expensive either.

It’s surprising how well tomatoes pair with pesto too. It’s not something I would normally put together, but it adds a slightly juicy texture to the sauce and compliments the mushrooms and sausage as well.

So go ahead and try this one out! It’s scrumptious and delicious, but not malicious.

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