I am Bob’s Stuffed Meat Loaf

This stuffed beefy meat loaf concoction comes from Taste of Home Cooking for 2, but all I can think about when I read the words meat loaf and stuffed is this guy.

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Meat Loaf as Bob from Fight Club

Why specifically do I think of Meat Loaf as Bob and not Eddie from Rocky Horror? There’s even that time he played a mobster in A Hole in One with Michelle Williams.  Why does that not come readily to mind?

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Meat Loaf’s a good fella. 

I don’t know dear readers. I just know that my mind works in mysterious ways.

What you’ll need.

  • 1/2 cup barbecue sauce, divided
  • 1/4 cup of hot water
  • 1 tablespoon of butter, melted.
  • 1 cup of stuffing
  • 2/3 a pound of lean ground beef

The first step in making this stuffed meat loaf is to combine 1/4 of the barbecue sauce with the water and butter in a small bowl. When that mixture has been mixed well, add the stuffing.

Next, shove the mixture aside to form your meat patties. You will make four patties out of the 2/3 a pound of beef. Try to make them as even as possible because you are basically going to make a sandwich with the stuffing mixture as the inside. Do this by dividing the stuffing mixture into half and scooping each half on one patty. Then, place a plain patty on top of the one with stuffing and seal the edges so that the stuffing remains intact.

In case you got confused, there should only be two servings or two stuffed patties. If you’re still confused, don’t fret.  I have pictures.

The next step will be to bake the patties in the oven by placing them on a baking pan, naturally. Before you put them in the oven, do pour the remaining barbecue sauce on top. Once that’s done, bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

Uncooked patties for demonstrative purposes.

These turned out real well! I love it when a recipe is not only delicious, but easy to make.

The taste is what you’d expect. It’s meatloaf as a burger. I ate mine without a bun or extra toppings, but I could see some trendy burger food truck making this into a thing.

Feel free to save $12 and do it yourself, though. That’s my recommendation anyway.

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Bob’s Meat Loaf

Tunato, aka Pomodori con Tonno

I should be a movie executive. I  anthropomorphized food long before Seth Rogen’s Sausage Party and Tunato is far more epic sounding than Sharknado. Imagine it folks, a sequel of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, where the murderous tomatoes shred up some tuna with their giant teeth and smother people to death with it by spewing it out of their mouths. To death!!!

My writing is getting rusty. I am aware and I halfheartedly apologize.

Despite my bad writing, like Sharknado, Tunatos from The Italian Mama’s Kitchen should be an entertaining light snack for when you’re too lazy to make a meal of real subsistence.

What you’ll need

  • 4 large or 8 medium or 16 cherry tomatoes
  • 6 ounce can of solid white albacore tuna, drained
  • 1 red onion or 2 spring onions, finely chopped
  • 2-3 tablespoons of homemade mayo

Your first step will be to prepare the tomatoes. If you opted for large or medium sized tomatoes, slice off the tops, scoop out the insides, and discard the seeds. If you use cherry tomatoes, you could still do this, but I get the sense that stuffing a cherry tomato is a lot of effort with little pay off.

Like practically every relationship I’ve been in.

I recommend just slicing the cherry tomatoes in half if you opt for them.

All the tomatoes will need their tuna and the tuna will be mixed with onion, homemade mayo, and salt and pepper to your liking.

Homemade mayo will be homemade by you and  is simple to make. All you need to do so is listed below.

  • Yolk of 1 large egg
  • 1/3 cup of sunflower or vegetable oil
  • 1 tablespoon of lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon of white wine vinegar

You can probably guess that all these items will be combined together to make the mayo and you would be correct. The only major notes I have are to add the egg yolk first, than slowly add the oil and other ingredients while whisking vigourously.

When you’ve whisked to your heart’s content, you may whisk some salt as well. Salt is always to your liking. I personally put as little salt as possible in my food but everyone is different.

As I mentioned before, this mayo mixture will be added to the tuna mixture. When both mixtures combine, you get Captain Planet!

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He’s a hero

You don’t really get Captain Planet. I just wanted to post a picture of Don Cheadle as Captain Planet.

What you get instead is tuna stuffing for killer tomatoes. Killer as in tasty to eat.

Fill those tomatoes with the killer tuna and place the tomato tops on top. For cherry tomatoes, skip the filling step and combine everything together.

Not only will these killer tomatoes slay your tastebuds, but they are comfortable for consumption in a chill or relaxed room temperature state.

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Not a hero, but a real tomato

 

 

Hannibal Lector’s Favorite Salad

Today we will discuss Classic Pasta at Home’s Fava Bean and Pecorino Salad. A favorite for Dr. Lector, he pairs it with his favorite Chianti and liverwurst that he gets at some special butcher shop. I can’t remember which one….I think it’s called Buffalo Bill’s Exotic Meats or something.

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Dr. Lector and his Chianti

Unfortunately, I ran into Dr. Lector while shopping for fava beans. His love of fava beans has no bounds. He bought them all up at the grocery store and was unwilling to share any with me. He said something about having a special dinner party and that he would invite me, but he had already “outdone” himself as it was. I don’t know what that meant, but Dr. Lector has always been a little off.

So I had to substitute with lima beans. Thankfully no other substitutes were needed.

What you’ll need:

  • 4 lbs of fava beans
  • 2 1/2 – 3 tablespoons of olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons of minced green onion, stem included
  • salt and pepper
  • lemon juice to taste
  • 8 – 12 soft lettuce leaves, preferably red. (Dr. Lector prefers the shade of Chianti)
  • 2 oz pecorinio cheese such as Toscanello or Manchego.

The first step in making this salad is to shell the fava or lima beans. To do this, you must either soak overnight or boil them for what seems like an eternity. Don’t be impatient with this step because it can make or break this salad. In other words, you don’t want the beans to be hard.

If you use the boil method, have a bowl of ice water ready. This creates a fast hot to cold effect that will rip off the skin of the bean. Buffalo Bill told me about this wonderful method by the way.

Drain the water once you let it cool down and then mix the beans in a large bowl with the olive oil and the green onions. Once these are mixed, you can add the salt, pepper, and lemon juice to your liking.

We are now ready to add the lettuce. Do so by tearing the lettuce into bite sized pieces and tossing gently along with rest of the salad.

The final step is to garnish with some cheese! My favorite part!

The cookbook recommends using a vegetable peeler and shaving the cheese into paper-thin slices. I grated mine, but I do think the shaved method would produce a greater taste of cheese. Being a cheese lover, I wished I had done this instead.

Can’t live in the past, though, right?

Anyway, you will want to toss the cheese as well. Once you have done so, it will be ready for consumption. Pair it with whatever you wish, unless it’s Hannibal Lector that is. I wouldn’t recommend that.

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Hummus, A Healthy Snack Made Even Healthier; The Final Chapter Resident Olive

The epic saga of hummus in the tales of Light and Healthy has now reached it’s final chapter. Will the forces of Olive defeat the evil empire of Garbanzo?  Stay tuned to find out.

Starring,

  • 1 15 ounce can of garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
  • 5 tablespoons of water
  • 1/4 cup of tahini
  • 3 tablespoons of lemon juice
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons of olive oil
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • Salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon of ground cumin
  • Pinch of cayenne pepper
  • 1 tablespoon of minced fresh parsley or cilantro
  • A jar of pitted kalamata olives, coarsely chopped

Previously on Hummus, A Healthy Snack Made Even Healthier we discovered Princess Hummus was trapped in the evil Kingdom of Garbanzo. How did she get there? Click the link to find out.

Meanwhile, our hero, Resident Olive along with two tablespoons of his coarsely chopped olive friends have made there way to Isle of Food Processor where they joined rebel garbanzo beans in an attempt to combine forces to save Princess Hummus from their evil emperor. Once combined, they traveled to Princess Hummus’s prison bowl. Upon arrival, Resident Olive realized they would need more allies and called on two more tablespoons of coarsely chopped pitted kalamata olives. When the allies arrived, the evil emperor fired bolts of fresh parsley on them in attempt to overtake the rescue.

Princess Hummus counterattacked this spell by casting a delicious hummus summon spell which caused a human to save everyone and return the people of Hummus to their rightful home, The Kingdom of Rachel’s Stomach.

All rejoiced and lived a happy, wonderful life.

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Resident Olive and his army of olives and garbanzo beans

 

Cheesy and Nutty Cherry Pie without the Crust

Today’s recipe got me thinking. Remember the song Cherry Pie from 1990?

The other day I was talking to a co-worker and he was telling me about some hangout that 80’s glam rockers would go to in LA to get pie. Actual pie.

Me, being my immature self, cocked an eyebrow and said, “Yeah, I bet they went there to get “pie”. I bet they got a lot of “pie” there.”

The combination of that conversation and this cherry pie like dessert made me wonder if the band Warrant was inspired by this pie eatery.

Wikipedia informed me this wasn’t the case and I learned some other sad and interesting facts about the band Warrant, the cherry pie girl, and the lead singer who sadly passed away a few years ago to alcohol poisoning.

One fact, I found quite inspiring.  The cherry pie girl in the video used coke to slim down for most of her modeling shoots. Now this girl is not rail thin. She has the body that I’d like to have and lately I’ve been feeling bloated, fat, and envious of girls on social media who post photos of their skinny and fashionable selves.

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Look at that coke body!

It’s comforting to know that all I have to do is develop a coke habit and my fat will just slide off.

That’s sarcasm folks. My real feelings are a mix of concern for the model and an admitted smug satisfaction of, “Ha! I bet some of those skinny girls I envy are coke heads!”

I’m not always a wonderful human being.

In conclusion, I discovered that this song is not about cherry pie at all. Not that I’m surprised. This recipe, however is loosely based on cherry pie and comes from Cooking Light.

What you’ll need

  • 1 tablespoon grated lemon rind
  • 1 15 ounce carton part-skim ricotta cheese
  • 1 tablespoon of fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon creme de cassis (black currant-flavored liqueur)
  • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
  • 6 tablespoons sugar, divided
  • 1 1/2 pounds of sweet cherries, pitted
  • 1/8 teaspoon of salt
  • 2 large egg whites
  • 3 tablespoons of sliced almonds, toasted

The first step is to combine the rind and ricotta. Set this aside when finished.

Then combine the juice, liqueur, and pepper. You can use a small bowl for this. Now get out a 12 inch skillet that won’t melt in the oven. Sprinkle 3 tablespoons of sugar evenly on the skillet. Heat this on medium-high heat for about two minutes or when the sugar starts to melt.

Add the cherries to the pan once the sugar starts to melt and cook for an additional two minutes. Pour the liqueur mixture over the cherries and cook again for two minutes or until the mixture thickens.

The cherries are almost ready to be put in the oven, but we’ve got a few steps left so at this moment you should pre-heat your broiler.

The last steps area as follows. Get a double boiler. If you don’t have one, I don’t, you can make your own by getting a small pan, adding a bit of water in the pan and then placing a bowl of some sort that won’t sink into the pan. Meaning, it’s not so small that it would fit entirely in the pan, but not so big that you can’t have it rest on top.

Whether you have one or not, place the remaining sugar, salt, and egg whites in the bowl or the top of the boiler. Cook this for about two minutes once the water in the pan has simmered.

While it cooks, stir continuously with a whisk. Once cooked, remove and then beat until it stiffens. If you have a mixer this process will be easier. Otherwise you’re just going to have to beat away with a fork for what feels like an eternity.

Add one-fourth of this egg mixture into the ricotta mixture until it has blended well. Keep doing this until all the of the egg whites have been used up.

Finally, evenly spoon in the remaining mixture over the cherries and broil in the oven for three minutes. If in those three minutes, it should be ready for consumption. After you sprinkle it with the almonds that is!

I enjoyed this desert. It’s just enough of a stray from a classic cherry pie to keep things interesting but not in disappointment. The ricotta was a bit much for me, at times. If I made it again, I’d probably add less of it. Then again, a beater, most likely would have given me a different result concerning the egg whites which could have altered the taste of the ricotta.

All in all, I recommend  trying this recipe out. Especially if you enjoy 80’s glam rock and cherry pie at diners.

Some Church’s Favorite Fruit Punch

…that I spiked later with devil’s juice from Sweden, because I have a drinking problem.

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We will briefly go to serious talk and I’ll denote to my dear readers that this recipe comes from the First Presbyterian Church in what I’m guessing is Bloomington, Indiana since this also comes from Tastes of Monroe County.

I have to admit I was never crazy about fruit punch or lemonade as a kid and whenever there was a fish fry, barbecue, or spaghetti dinner in my town they were always serving punch or lemonade, much to my younger self’s dismay.

I was always like, “What?! No rootbeer? No Sprite? I have to drink water??? Ugh! I guess I’ll have lemonade. I refuse to drink something like water that would nourish and replenish my body!”

As an adult, I get sad if there’s no alcohol, but at least water and I are cool with each other.

Anyway, this punch is actually called Favorite Fruit Punch. I wasn’t being a total sassy pants with the title. That’s what is written on the page folks.

I can’t help but wonder if the good parishioners of First Presbyterian voted on this or if they have some kind of punch committee or if it is one person’s favorite and they were like ok we’ll add that to the community cookbook? I mean how did they come to this conclusion? I truly want to know.

What you’ll need.

  • 1 6oz can frozen lemonade concentrate
  • 1 8oz can crushed pineapple
  • 1 10oz package frozen strawberries, thawed
  • 1 2 liter bottle of ginger ale

The first step is to blend all the fruits together in a blender until it is well blended. Then you are supposed to freeze it into a mold.

I don’t understand why the freezing step is necessary and would love to hear from a punch expert about why. My best guess is so that it remains cold for a long period of time because otherwise I don’t understand the point.

I froze it and once it was frozen I poured ginger ale on top and waited almost an hour for it to thaw out so I could drink it.

It ended up being worth the wait. My favorite taste was the tartness that came from the lemonade concentrate. It paired well with the strawberries and the pineapple helped subdue it so it wasn’t overpowering. I couldn’t detect the ginger ale which surprised me. I’m sure it helped water down the fruit flavors in general so they weren’t overpowering.

As I said earlier, I ended up spiking it with Svedka vodka, but I did try it without as well. Both were tasty, but if you got something you can put alcohol in and it’s after 5 you might as well do so.

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Your friendly neighborhood fruit punch

 

 

 

Cheesy Beefees of Potency

Balls. Potency. The symbol of manhood. The patriarch’s second favorite shape, the other one being an eggplant emojii.

Was it a man who first thought to take a chunk of meat and form it into a ball for consumption? Was it a woman? A woman who wanted to show how she could take a man’s power from him. His pride and joy? Maybe it was just a psychopath who wanted to eat balls for real and was suppressing his or her desires by pretending with animal meat.

We will never know who decided to form meat into balls just like we will never know who invented the wheel. Another spherical shape of power.

Hahaha…..Rachel likes balls!!! – My friend’s kid Lana

I’m talking about meatballs Lana! You’re only six! What’s wrong with you?!

Serious talk everyone. This next recipe comes from Portlandia and is meatballs with cheese stuffed inside. Lana really did say that once, while I was at an Italian restaurant with her mom. She overheard me telling her mother about how some “men” I used to work with would tease me whenever I ordered meatballs for my lunch. They would say “Oh you want balls today? Do you like balls Rachel? Would you say that you love them”

It was dumb. Lana thought we were talking about actual meatballs and she was eating meatballs when she said that. It took everything in me to not say, “So do you kid. You got your mouth all up in them right now.”

I don’t remember what I ended up saying. I just remember my friend giving me this wide-eyed surprised look of slight embarrassment and then laughing.

If you love balls, especially meatballs, this is what you’ll need.

  • 2 slices of white bread, shredded
  • 2 tablespoons of half and half or milk
  • 1 large egg
  • 2 scallions, minced
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 large jalapeno, seeded and minced
  • 2 tablespoons of chopped fresh cilantro
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt
  • 3/4 pound of ground sirloin
  • 3/4 pound of ground chuck
  • Vegetable oil
  • 2 ounces of pepper jack cheese, cut into 24 1/2 inch cubes
  • 1/4 cup pus 2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

My favorite first step!! Pre-heat the oven!! Pre-heat it to 425 degrees and position rack on the upper shelf!

The next step is to combine the bread, half and half, and egg in a large bowl. Mix this into a paste texture then add the scallions, garlic, jalapeno, cilantro, and salt. Stir until well mixed.

Next add the meat and massage with your hands until it has melded with the rest of the ingredients. Once the meat has become one with everything, form that meat into balls. 24 to be exact.

When your balls are ready, prepare them for cooking by coating a pan with vegetable oil. Moisten your hands with a touch of oil and then gently tuck a cube of cheese inside each ball.

Now put your balls into the oven and cook until they are nice and firm. This should take around 12 minutes.

Once the 12 minutes are up, remove the balls from the oven and set the oven to broil.

Get another large bowl out and place a 1/4 of a cup of the grated cheese inside. Then put the balls in there and lightly toss them. Return the balls to the baking sheet, sprinkle the remaining grated cheese and then broil for 2-3 minutes. Be careful though, you don’t want to emasculate them. Balls need gentle handling and cooking.

Once the 2-3 minutes are up, after some cooling they will be ready for consumption.

You can serve them as an appetizer, with toothpicks on their own or dip them in tomato sauce. The best part about these balls is the cheese I have to say. They are your standard balls otherwise, but the cheese puts them ahead.

I can safely say that I do like these balls. I hope you do too. Just don’t tell Lana, she’s kind of a gossip.

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